User:Twistedeuphoria

TwistedEuphoria

Euphoria, known as "Twisty" or "The twisted one" by his friends (of whom you are NOT a part of), is an insane but quite lazy and lethargic man, who is also a basement dweller. He is the only person to date to have communicated over IRC without moving.

Childhood

From the moment he was born, Twisty's parents knew he would be a failure of epic proportions. This story is, remarkably, about Twisty's birth:

euphoriasai	once the doctor hit me and i didnt move
euphoriasai	then i was like oh hey i should move
euphoriasai	then i did
euphoriasai	true story
BAILOPAN	then you collapsed from exhaustion
euphoriasai	yeah that moving thing is overrated

From that moment on, not much changed.

Twisty didn't move more than an inch until his tenth birthday, when he was plyed with alcohol to move towards a large peice of cake. This is also the day that Twisty became an orphan, as his parents were caught plying many young girls with alcohol, along with Twisty. In a feat of untold horror, the police uncovered an amount of child pornography that made the great egyptian pyramids look like mole hills.

At this point, Twisty was over 500 pounds, and used a computer with OSX on it.

Currently, Twisty is at a much more acceptable weight, and uses a PC, but unfortunately, he still doesn't move much. In a feat of untold will, he has managed to link with IRC telepathically, so that he can sleep and chat with friends. Well, not really "friends", more like people...that work and talk with other people....that they hate.

Twisty has a great deal of telekenetic skill, as he refuses to move very much. Unfortunately, he is also very lazy, and telekenesis takes a lot of energy and concentration.

Twisty also has the innate ability to see ghosts. At some point, he had orange hair, and was actually muscular, as his fat imploded into him due to the immense tidal forces, forming muscle somehow, and met some girl, stole her virginity and powerz, and got a kickass sword. Luckily for all humanity, some homeless guy named Aizen managed to steal the sword from him. In a fit of rage, Twisty locked himself in his basement. He has not come out since.

For a detailed analysis of these events in Twisty's life, read the manga "Bleach". While slightly exaggerated for marketing purpose, it is Twisty's teenage years. More or less.

A average day with the Twisted One

All he does is sleep, masturbate, and communicate online. That's it. Stop reading. Theres no more to tell! I'm serious!

Twisty on virginity

Twisty will take your virginity. If you think this is impossible, because you've already lost yours, you are wrong.

Dead wrong