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* 1984: Adam expends the last of his three wishes, granted for releasing [[Sting]] from his imprisonment in a magic lamp, to get a #1 single for his namesake band, [[Steely Dan]]. The wish is accepted, and a song from 1980 -- "Five White Swallows" -- becomes #1 on the Billboard charts throughout 1893. Adam gives up, gets drunk, and becomes a Korean woman for seven weeks. | * 1984: Adam expends the last of his three wishes, granted for releasing [[Sting]] from his imprisonment in a magic lamp, to get a #1 single for his namesake band, [[Steely Dan]]. The wish is accepted, and a song from 1980 -- "Five White Swallows" -- becomes #1 on the Billboard charts throughout 1893. Adam gives up, gets drunk, and becomes a Korean woman for seven weeks. | ||
** 1984, attempt 2: Adam gets drunk and arranges to marry [[Elvis Costello]], who at that time is still Elvis. The Edge consults U.S. [[Supreme Court]] [[Pot v. Kettle|Chief Justice]] Rev. Al Sharpton, Ph.D., Esq., Inc., who, seeing an opportunity to [[Years|strike a blow]] to the reputation of his rival Alex "The Graham" Bell, imposes a ban on "weeks" for five weeks. This gives Larry time to set a [[pie]] trap for Elvis. The laser gun fires as expected, and the problem is solved. Adam sobers up in a local opium den. | ** 1984, attempt 2: Adam gets drunk and arranges to marry [[Elvis Costello]], who at that time is still Elvis. The Edge consults U.S. [[Supreme Court]] [[Pot v. Kettle|Chief Justice]] Rev. Al Sharpton, Ph.D., Esq., Inc., who, seeing an opportunity to [[Years|strike a blow]] to the reputation of his rival Alex "The Graham" Bell, imposes a ban on "weeks" for five weeks. This gives Larry time to set a [[pie]] trap for Elvis. The laser gun fires as expected, and the problem is solved. Adam sobers up in a local opium den. | ||
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Latest revision as of 00:35, 16 September 2006
Bono is the superhero of the pulp fiction comic series U2. He fights off crime, leopards, and Britons with his guitar-shaped arm of fury. The series is quite popular in countries that have people, such as America, Ireland, and Western Antarctica. His real name is Paul Hewson, although it was destroyed in a radioactive experiment.
Contents
Biography
Bono was born on September 31st, 1956. His father, through a series of time travel mishaps explained in Episode #23, is a packet of mustard. His mother's origins are not yet known. He graduated from A Real High School in Wisconsin after earning a masters degree in Musicology from the University of College. His current whereabouts are unknown, as he is currently on the run from the President of the Untied States.
Supporting Characters
In Bono's tag-a-long crew of fighters, U2 has a few supporting characters. These include:
The Edge
Real name "Dave Evans", The Edge is a rather one dimensional character, rescued from a Borg Cube. His super power is the ability to shoot drums out of his eyes.
Adam Clayton
Real name "Adam", was killed off in the third season pilot episode, even though it's not a TV series. You should dislike this character, as he may be French.
Larry Mullen Jr
Real name "Roseanne", Larry is best known for casting a ring into a mountain during a crossover series titled "The Lord of the Rings".
Notable History
- 1954: Bono dies while valiantly flying a mission over Berlin, not realizing that the airlift was six years prior.
- 1955: Bono is born, one year after his death and a full year before his birth. His reputation as a showoff begins to spread.
- 1956: Bono is born again. This was a blatant violation of the intergalactic law of the time, but nobody noticed because Ireland was still completely underground at the time. It was also the subject of the highly controversial Episode #-1, which was also responsible for introducing such apocrypha as space turtles.
- 1984: Adam expends the last of his three wishes, granted for releasing Sting from his imprisonment in a magic lamp, to get a #1 single for his namesake band, Steely Dan. The wish is accepted, and a song from 1980 -- "Five White Swallows" -- becomes #1 on the Billboard charts throughout 1893. Adam gives up, gets drunk, and becomes a Korean woman for seven weeks.
- 1984, attempt 2: Adam gets drunk and arranges to marry Elvis Costello, who at that time is still Elvis. The Edge consults U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Rev. Al Sharpton, Ph.D., Esq., Inc., who, seeing an opportunity to strike a blow to the reputation of his rival Alex "The Graham" Bell, imposes a ban on "weeks" for five weeks. This gives Larry time to set a pie trap for Elvis. The laser gun fires as expected, and the problem is solved. Adam sobers up in a local opium den.
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